I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
