So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
