I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
