So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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