I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
