You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
