Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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