literally had 100 drinks last night.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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