I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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