i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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