all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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