Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
