News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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