Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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