YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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