Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
