Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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