Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
