Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
