my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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