im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
