At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
