Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
