you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
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That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
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I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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