this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
