I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
