Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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