The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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