I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
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there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
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BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"