You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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