but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
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I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
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Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.