I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary