ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney