Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
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I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
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On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.