Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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