Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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