I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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