what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
