So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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