You're completely useless in the revolution.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
