Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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