Where is the hickey?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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