Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
