she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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