what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
