so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
