Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
