hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Is it penis luge time yet?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
