Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
