If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I forget how to act sober
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
