I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
