He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize