He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize