Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize