So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
