dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Randomize
