Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
