I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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