i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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