Pants 0. Shit 1.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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