I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
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Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
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I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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