I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
