Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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