big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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