How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
