is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
