you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
