Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
