is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
