Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
