I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
