she looked like the bat from fern gully.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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