We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
